So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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