My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
