You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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