She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You ruined the universe
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
