Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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