she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
