Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
