good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
