it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
