Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
