he puts the penis in happiness.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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