Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
