I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She's the barista slut.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
we should paint friendship bongs
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