ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
