i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
