Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
