Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I am midnight drunk by noon
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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