Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
