ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
