Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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