Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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