big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
