did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
