dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
