Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
