her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
whose parrot is this?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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