Me. At least after what I've been through.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
