The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
