My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
not ubering you a puppy
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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