He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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