Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
