So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
