Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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