White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
