whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
