3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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