I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
