so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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