i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
