Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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