You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
