I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Panties = found
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