Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize