they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
