Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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