I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
