Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
