if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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