ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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