right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
