His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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