shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's always time for handjobs
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Can I color on your dick again?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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