fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There r osticjed everywhere
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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